New Year’s Resolutions Rarely Work ... Use an Affirmation Instead!
Every year people set themselves up for failure by making a new year’s resolution or "promise." It could be anything from; going to the gym, losing weight, saving money, being a better partner and so on.
Once we move into February, it goes by the wayside and we feel disappointment for not keeping that promise to ourselves.
This creates the vicious circle of more bad habits. We might start compulsive eating, drinking, shopping, gambling. We were trying to better ourselves, but instead we disappointed ourselves. Now we have more things to work on next December 31st.
It was 3 years ago that I decided that setting an intention for my upcoming year was best for me. I would choose a “word” for the upcoming year and each time that a situation presented itself to me I would go to my word to bring me into the present moment.
The first word I chose was “allowing.” This was huge for me during that year. It really taught me to let go of trying to control the situation and let the person be where they were at. One situation that really brought my word into play was a confrontation or argument with my son.
He was very angry with me and yelling. Anything I said to him made him more angry with me. As the argument heated my word came to mind, “allowing.” Instead of me trying to show him that he was wrong and I was right (control), I stepped off his porch, walking away telling myself to allow him to be where he is on his journey.
This is so much healthier for us instead of engaging in any confrontation. It brings us back to the present and allows both of us to respect each other instead of engaging in mindless behavior.
That same year my youngest child moved out unexpectedly. I was devastated by her decision and the other things that were going on in her life. I was washed away by my emotions and wanted to feel sad over the situation. I laid in bed crying for 3 days not eating or bathing, just feeling sorry for myself.
My ex-husband (wasband) found out that I was just laying around and not even watching movies or anything (I don’t watch regular television and my dvd player had broken!). That night he showed up at my front door with a brand new dvd player and said at least watch some movies.
He also said, “Leigh, you have done your job with our children, use this time for yourself now.” As I walked back into my home I remembered my word, “allowing.” I needed to allow my daughter to do what she needed to do on her journey. This was not my path but hers.
The next year I chose the word “savoring.” I wanted to be able to take time out and savor precious moments that happen to me during the year. I now had a beautiful grandson and I wanted to “savor” all my lovely moments with him as I watch him grow on his path.
The first time I got to see him take his first steps, the first time he gave me a big kiss on the lips, all wonderful moments to savor. I also have many wonderful people in my life and really want to savor the times I share with them.
Choosing a word for the year is something I teach my clients and students to do. Most of them always start out with some of these words: allowing, letting go, or expectations. They absolutely love choosing their word and working with it throughout the year.
My suggestion is to become still, work on deep breathing, and feel into how you want your new year to take shape. Whatever we focus on grows. Maybe you are looking for more success, love, patience in 2016. Whichever word you choose will be the right word for you during 2016.
Leigh Hurst holds an Associate's Degree in Psychology and a Bachelor's Degree in Social Work with a minor in Gerontology. She is a Thought Leader, Transformational & Intuitive Life Coach. She is a natural healer (with a certification in Reiki and other modalities) and loves working with holistic healing and energy. Her coaching sessions help guide people on a new path. Leigh's company Awake & Aging was created to share a new paradigm for humans to live in a world that is guided by the Divine with peace, love and light. You can connect with Leigh here on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest & Instagram.